Stefanie Dell'Aringa

Freelance Writer

Category: I Love Lucy Moments

What a Week I’m Having!

I’m not sure how it happened, but a black cloud followed me all week. First, I got stuck in elevator at work. It wasn’t too bad. I just rang the alarm and nobody came! The heart rate elevated, the palms began to sweat and the breathing increased. No big deal. Then the elevator began to move and suddenly opened on floor 3 instead of floor 1. I got out as quickly as I could and took the stairs the rest of the way down. I’ve been taking the stairs ever since.

Next day. I’m driving home, enjoying my ride in my 2011 Honda Accord which has only 5,000 miles on it. I motored along until suddenly I heard a pop followed by a thump, thump, thump, thump. That would be the tire blowing. I pulled over and luckily was only three blocks from home. I parked and locked the car, and began walking.

It dawned on me that I should text my girls who were home alone and would be expecting me at 12:20. It would only take me a few extra minutes to walk the rest of the way, but I figured I’d let them know that I was walking so they wouldn’t worry. That’s when my high heel caught on the uneven sidewalk and down I went, like a pile of bricks. Never – I repeat – never text and walk at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster!

So, what do these things have in common? A Facebook friend helped me out with this after he read my post of the three bad incidents. Besides things happening in threes, which others pointed out, he noticed a pattern. Apparently, I need to slow down. “Work with me, here,” he wrote. “Stuck in an elevator? Cant’ move. Flat tire? Can’t move. Falling down? Can’t move.”

He may have a point. I also think that God’s telling me I can’t control things, as much as I want to. It’s also par for the course, and another “I Love Lucy” moment.

What Happened to My Tunes?

So, I’m outside hacking at weeds like a crazy woman since getting my anger out is best done this way in a hobby others call gardening. I get out the scissors because I’m getting very serious about the invasive non-natives and as I reach down into a veritable sea of green pokey weeds to cut them, I accidentally cut the wires from my ear buds. Then I can’t figure out for a minute what the heck happened to my tunes. The song just suddenly stopped. What’s up? I check the battery; it’s charged. Then I see the frayed wire cut in two. DOH! This can only happen to someone like me. I actually cut the wire because it got entangled with the weeds. That just shows how many weeds are in my garden. Maybe I shouldn’t admit that, but here it is out in the open. I have weeds. Don’t tell anyone….

“I Love Lucy” Moments

How is it that two days in a row, I’ve done something incredibly stupid that has led me to believe I live my life like an ‘I Love Lucy’ episode? The only difference is – instead of crying, “Oh, Ricky” I cry, “Oh, Ratty!” (That’s my husband’s pet name). So, onto the mayhem.

Day 1: I decide on my own on Tuesday to change out the master water filter in our house. It’s sort of a bulky canister, and you need a special circular wrench to jimmy the thing loose. To make matters more complicated, you have to brace yourself against this free-standing water pipe while cranking the wrench. Then you must remember the old adage, “righty tighty, lefty loosey” in order to apply pressure in the right direction. Sometimes I still get that wrong and end up tightening the thing beyond all hope of loosening it ever again. Yes, I’ve done that and we’ve had to call in a professional with a much stronger wrench to unscrew the thing. Anyway, back to my story. So I’m fiddling with the thing and I actually get it loose all by myself and I’m thinking, ‘Yeah, I can do this without any help’ when all of a sudden, the whole canister comes loose and water sprays out all over the place because I lose my grip on it. That would be because I forgot to proactively place a bucket directly underneath the canister, which is something I knew to do but forgot to do. UGH. I wish that was the only problem I ran into, but the Lucy moment hasn’t come just yet. Bear with me. Next, I get to the sink right away, pour the rest of the water out of the canister, toss the old filter, clean the canister, and put the new filter in. No problem. I screw the canister into place, tighten it as hard as I can using the plastic wrench – to the right – and proceed to turn the water on full blast. This is where it happens. Water starts shooting in every direction from the threads of the canister, spraying walls, the floor and me. I turn the water off, but the water just keeps coming. I put a bucket underneath, but it’s spraying horizontally, not vertically. Gee, now that’s fun. Next, I get some towels, and our picnic cooler because that will hold more water. I attempt to unscrew the canister and rescrew it, assuming I’ve misaligned the threads somehow. But no, every time I turn the water back on, the same thing happens. I then actually have to call my husband home from work on his lunch to fix it. It’s either that or go without running water for the next six hours. Not happening. By this time, the entire floor is wet and I’m using one of those huge floor squeegies to clean the water mess. An hour and a half later, my husband walks through the front door, goes directly to the basement, and tinkers with it a few times as I watch the same thing happen to him. Water, water everywhere. Then it dawns on him – at least one of us possesses common sense – hey, where’s the gasket? Wasn’t there a gasket on here? We look for it on the floor and – lo and behold – there the thing is. It must have dropped off when I first unscrewed it but I didn’t see it because I was focused on the water spilling everywhere. He puts the gasket on, screws the thing on, and – presto – the water gets turns on without a drip in sight.

Day 2: You would think I would have learned my lesson, but no. I was helping my daughter make an ancient Egyptian dessert. This calls for a food processor. I throw a bunch of moistened fresh dates into the food processor, along with about 3/4 cup of walnuts. I go to turn on the processor and in the blink of an eye food goes spraying in all directions. Okay. One must ensure that the lid is securely locked before turning on the food processor. Obviously, I thought it was on or I wouldn’t have turned the machine on.

That mess took a while to clean up and when my husband came home from work that day, I had to say that I had another ‘I Love Lucy’ moment, and that ‘there had been a food processor incident.’ I feel like I should be locked up or something before I can commit any more culinary crimes. There has been a lot of them, but I am not providing any more details here.

 

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